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bloqueio criativo

by miojo cru

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1.
why are my eyes always shifting away from anyone everyone else's eyes? a minor case, major depressure a fantastic film score my father's bike, my weight descending got nothing to wait for then i'll push my hair back then i'll mess it up then i'll bite my tongue while singing what you'll all say "you swore that you would live your life without regret *uaaaaa* what are you waiting for?" melissa I FUCKED UP i won't cut my arms off, that won't keep me warm at night and i'll do my best to live my life without regret
2.
lie to me, like you used to tell me everything is how it should be lie to me, did you have to? cause in the end it never matters what i think and i can barely tell the sky from the shoreline and i can see myself reflected in your eyes and this was all a dream and it's coming back to me a portrait in grey scale, a perfect betrayal and i can't even breathe with this weighing on my chest you knew at my best now i can't even stand on my own i saw water! i said i wanted to break my friends but my dependency won't let me away i'd like to think that i can work it out some but i want to be put into the ground today i needed a break my friends are up in mountains and i'm drowning in lakes i swallowed water right in front of her face just to show that she had nothing to say i felt lighter i impressed her but my emotions ran unopposed i felt just like brian jones i've never felt that lost before i just don't feel incredible but me? well, of course i liked you have time for me, i don't expect you to i see me become a recluse it's very easy to seclude i saw water i felt better i woke up feeling embarassed from when i drowned in my swimming pool you thought it was an accident i just can't get along with you but me? well, of course i liked you
3.
eu nunca cantei tão bem mas eu canto só pra você e o que é que os manos dizem sobre nós dois? a verdade é que eles não sabem de porra nenhuma de merda nenhuma sobre nós dois ou sobre o que é o amor ou sobre outras coisas tão mais bobas eu queria ser mais bonito pra sair melhor com você numa foto ou com seus amigos as pessoas sempre acham que eu sou feito um livro denso e chato de ler e que você está sempre muito enganada por um milhão de palavras bem arrumadas mas só deus sabe o quanto eu te amo e o quanto eu amo nossos segredos que guardamos no que um dia eu chamei de meu pavimento pois disseram que era sem vida feito um tipo de cimento pois então meu amor por você é concreto e só deus sabe o quanto eu iria sentir a falta do seu sorriso e eu não vou te culpar se um dia você resolver me deixar pois quem cola comigo já nasceu fadado a não ganhar
4.
wake from your sleep the drying of your tears today we escape we escape pack and get dressed before your father hears us before all hell breaks loose breathe keep breathing don't lose your nerve breathe keep breathing i can't do this alone sing us a song a song to keep us warm it's such a chill such a chill and you can laugh your spineless laugh we hope your rules and wisdom choke you and now we are one in everlasting peace we hope that you choke that you choke
5.
i can live with the sky falling out from above i can live with your scorn, your sourness, your smug i can live growing old alone if push comes to shove but i can't live without my mother's love i can live flying 'round at an impossible pace i can live with the bad etiquette that's falling on this place i can live with anything you got to throw in my face but i can't live without my mother's embrace my mother is 49 she's the closest friend that i have in my life take her from me and i'll break down and bawl and wither away like old leaves in the fall you can be cruel all you want, talk bad on my brothers shoot me full of holes and i won't be bothered judge me for my ways or my slew of ex-lovers but don't ever dare say a bad word about my mother when she's gone i'll miss our slow easy walks playing scrable at the chimes of the grandfather clock i'll even miss the times that we fought but mostly i'll miss being able to call her and talk i can live without watching the classic old fights i can live without a lover beside me at night i can live without what you might call a charmed life but i can't live without my mother providing her light my mother is 49 one day she won't be here to hear me cry when the day comes for her to let go i'll die off like a lemon tree in the snow when the day comes for her to leave i won't have the courage to sort through her things with my father and all our memories i cannot bear all the pain it will bring
6.
faça-me um espelho que só enxergue você vamos assistir a qualquer seriado que você escolher não tenha medo, não as luzes vão se ligar e todo esse vazio existencial vai se apagar na mesa do bar eu tenho fé em você e sei que vai tudo correr bem só porque você não se lembra da separação dos seus pais não quer dizer que não sofreu entendeu? é tudo uma questão de complicar me passa essa luz que cai da sua mente e só me deixe passear eu preciso dela, mas ela não precisa de mim
7.
michael where are you now? somehow in my excitment the last time you called it slipped again to ask your hidden whereabouts got a lead from your old triple ex-girlfriend she said "i heard he lost his mind again" "again?", i said i didn't know that you ever did michael where are you now? sleeping through the mornings in flannel impaired getting high in the southern air shoeless, sandy evenings down the unfamiliar last whiff of salt-water freedom skipping shells in the dead zone with a ghost on your side of the state borderline whispering "take it" do you remember our first subway ride? our first heavy metal haircuts our last swim on the east coast and me with my ridiculous looking pierced nose oh, i remember your warm smile in the sun the daydreaming boy without a shirt on the birmingham barfly father left the mother of three sons you're the oldest juvenile delinquent bum my best friend
8.
fools leave too soon built to fill roles and fall stading alone again distant and dissatisfied these four years and how we say goodbye to these four years a long goodbye with mixed emotions just fragments of another life well, i'm not dead yet but the regrets are killing me
9.
sal na ferida nunca foi tão bom e todo apartamento que eu entro lá no centro da cidade tem seu cheiro eu te vejo em cada espelho alucinando meus desejos no caminho de volta pra casa eu vejo jesus cristo estendendo suas mãos mas eu não ligo, eu só piso em toda poça, toda pessoa eu não quero ser salvo e tudo te destrói eu só queria passar um fim de semana ao seu lado fogo eterno eu nunca sei terminar as conversas que eu começo eu nunca deixei as pessoas irem embora e se você souber da invencibilidade da memória nos meus sonhos, pontes feitas de perdão a sensação de que sou um monstro pela quarta vez meu orgulho é maria, você não sabe quem seu filho é eu ergo a cruz todos querem provar alguma coisa existe uma particularidade nas festas da juventude que nasceu no fim do século XX eu só quero férias
10.
i've good friends with bad habits but what am i to do? they're literary romantics they fuck like wilde and indulge like hemingway i've good friends with bad habits and a tendency towards negligence just petty thieves and addicts they don't hurt anyone but they'll burn anyway sometimes, like every time a train passes i get jealous of the long nights the blurred lights the red eyes the bar fights but where in the hell am i? and how did i get here with one shoe? and which way to the nearest train? sometimes like every time she breathes i embrace my routine i've good friends with bad habits but what's a boy without a voice to do? they're literary romantics they fuck like wilde and they'll die like hemingway
11.
in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape broken branches trip me as i speak just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there there's always a siren singing you to shipwreck (sim errei dsclp) steer away from these rocks we'd be a walking disaster just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there there, there why so green and lonely lonely lonely? heaven sent you to me to me to me? we are accidents waiting, waiting to happen we are accidents waiting, waiting to happen
12.
to the extent that i wear skirts and cheap nylon slips i've gone native i wanted to know the exact dimensions of hell does that sound simple? fuck you are you for sale? does 'fuck you' sound simple enough? that was the only part that turned me on but he was candy all over come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more i was born in a shotgun row sliding down the hill out front were the big machines steel and rusty now, i guess out back was the river and that big sign down the road that's where it all started come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more come on down to the store you can buy some more and more and more and more you can buy some more and more and more and more
13.
i'm in the sky when i'm on my floor the world's a mess and you're my only cure there's no time for me to act mature the only words i know are more more and more noone to criticize me then noone to criticize there's no fear when i'm in my room it's so clear and now i know just i wanna do eau d'bedroom dancing to you i wanna say you're my thing you teach me
14.
home is where I want to be pick me up and turn me round i feel numb born with a weak heart i guess I must be having fun the less we say about it the better make it up as we go along feet on the ground, head in the sky it's ok i know nothing's wrong (nothing) heeeeeey i got plenty of time heeeeeey you got light in your eyes and you're standing here beside me i love the passing of time never for money always for love cover up and say good night say good night ... home is where I want to be but i guess i'm already there i come home she lifted up her wings i guess that this must be the place i can't tell one from the other did I find you or you find me? there was a time before we were born if someone asks this is where i'll be (where I'll be) heeeeey we drift in and out heeeeey sing into my mouth out of all those kinds of people you got a face with a view i'm just an animal looking for a home share the same space for a minute or two and you love me till my heart stops love me till I'm dead eyes that light up, eyes look through you cover up the blank spots hit me on the head i oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
15.
we speak in the store and i'm a sensitive bore you seem markedly more and i'm oozing surprise and it's late in the day, you were well on your way what was golden went gray and i'm so suddenly shy and the gathering floozies afford to be choosy and all sneezing darkly on the dimming divide and i have read the right books to interpret your looks you were knocking me down with the palm of your eye so this is unlike the story it was written to be i was riding its back when it used to ride me and we were galloping manic on the mouth of the source we were swallowing panic in the face of its force and iiiiiiiiiiii aaaaaaaaaaam blue i am blue and unwell made me bolt like a horse so now it's done watch it go and you've changed some water runs from the snow am i so dear? do i run rare? and you've changed some peach plum pear
16.
there's just no room for all our thoughts come on l et's walk another walk did you ever see a downtown businessman sing a joyful talk in a suit made out of song? come on let's not insist on love we're just alive let's talk straight about it and sled through the boulevard this is a true heart listen hard these are true words speak hard see the young so old/in love so fast i don't understand falling leaves a tree's a tree
17.
learn to say the same thing let us hold fast to sayin' the same thing i hope all is well with you i wish the best for you when no one is around love will always love you learn to say the same thing what defeats people is a double confession one time they will confess one thing and the next they will confess something else talk to them they will say learn to say the same thing let us hold fast to saying the same thing never give up no never give up if you're looking for something easy you might as well give it up never give up no never give up if you're looking for something easy you might as well give it up one time they will confess one thing and the next they will confess the next talk to them they will say learn to say the same thing let us hold fast to saying the same thing
18.
i stepped into an avalanche it covered up my soul when i am not this hunchback that you see i sleep beneath the golden hill you who wish to conquer pain you must learn to serve me well you strike my side by accident as you go down for your gold the cripple here that you clothe and feed is neither starved nor cold he does not ask for your company not at the centre of the world when i am on a pedestal you did not raise me there your laws do not compel me to kneel grotesque and bare i myself am the pedestal for this ulgy hump at which you stare you who wish to conquer pain you must learn what makes me kind the crumbs of love that you offer me are the crumbs that i've left behind your pain is no credential here it's just the shadow of my wound i have begun to long for you i who have no greed i have begun to ask for you i who have no need you say you've gone away from me but i can feel you when you breathe do not dress in those rags for me i know you are not poor you don't love me quite so fiercely now when you know that you are not sure it is your turn, beloved it is your flesh that i wear
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i wish you could put your ear up to my heart and hear how much i love you i still dream of december, dancing together, with rings on our fingers and the two shall forever become...

about

heitor martins - voz/violão
gravado no meu quarto (uma no banheiro)
eu não compus nenhuma dessas músicas, os direitos pertencem aos respectivos artistas
i didn't write any of these songs, all rights belong to the respective artists

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released September 5, 2016

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Hektōr São Paulo, Brazil

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